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LIFE IS TWEET

 

Tuesday
Jan012013

Happy New Year

There are plenty of addicts and alcoholics out there who went through their first New Year's Eve sober.

Congratulations! 

This is no small feat. Especially since it comes on the heels of "the holidays", which for many are the most angst filled weeks of the entire year.

It is difficult to say "No" when everyone around you is saying "Yes". This is especially true on an evening when the whole world seems to stop and scream, "Time to PAR-TAY"!

And, since January 1st is a day when the whole world agrees it's a good day to start over, it's the perfect day for us sober folks to rationalize our slips. We feel like we are in good company if we fail in our resolve and have to start over.

So, if you woke up this morning having succeeded in a promise to yourself to not use, no matter what, give yourself a big hug and a pat on the back. I'm not kidding. Do it. If you have company at home, ask for a kiss and another hug. Be happy and proud.

Every single day is a victory for us. Some victories are just a touch sweeter than others.

Sunday
Oct142012

Things that drive me crazy

This "Meditation for the Day" from Hazelden appears in the publication, Twenty Four Hours a Day
Lay upon God your failures and mistakes and shortcomings. Do not dwell upon your failures, upon the fact that in the past you have been nearer a beast than an angel. You have a mediator between you and God - your growing faith -, which can lift you up from the mire and point you toward the heavens. You can still be reconciled with the spirit of God. You can still regain your harmony with the Divine Principle of the universe.

If you are an atheist like me, this blah-blah-blah religious stuff makes me restless, irritable and discontent. It's similar to many of the "stories" offered by members during their shares. I suppose it is inspiring to believers, but to non-believing addicts and alcoholics it seems an obvious surrender of personal accountability and responsibility. If not dealt with, this relatively insignificant annoyance can work itself into a sizeable resentment.

I'd like to offer a quick re-write.

Be honest about your failures and mistakes and shortcomings. This is necessary for you to decide what you can and should change in yourself, and in the people, places and things in your life. Do not dwell on your failures... they cannot be changed after the fact, and rob you of energy to pursue your future. As you make better decisions and take healthier actions you will be filled with CONFIDENCE and EVIDENCE (like faith) that your future will hold more rewards. Embrace the opportunity to reconcile with friends, family, and the human community - in this world, during this lifetime.

With regard to "Divine Principle"...capitalizing a couple of words does not make it a real thing. I encourage you to decide what principles you value and will orient your life toward. Living in harmony has a great deal to do with living true to your principles.

Have a sober day!

Monday
Sep032012

AA thought for the day

Destiny

I see that my jouney toward God has scarce begun.
As I thus get down to my right size and stature, my self-concern and importance become amusing...
Once more I know that God is good; that I need fear no evil.
This is a great fight, this knowledge that I do have a destiny.

-The Language of the Heart, p. 259 

This is my daily reminder, delivered by www.AAOnline.net. As usual, it reminds me that I am a nonbeliever.

I am not searching for god or gods, nor do I consider my path in AA a journey toward God. However, much of the literature sent my way to help me in my journey suggests a need for a particular kind of relationship with god. And this "god" is usually the capital G kind as in "him" rather than some vague, pantheistic sort of godlike presence. You know, the kind of god that listens when you talk, loves you, and will never give you more than you can handle.

"Once more I know that God is good." What? There is no proof of god, let alone that any god is concerned about me or us, or that god is "good". What exactly is a "good" god? It seems that believers are always interested in the god they imagine...

Buried within this silly tripe is something I rely on. "I get down to my right size." The concept of being right size has been important to someone like me who has struggled to reach out for help or accept my very human limitations. Driven by the need to succeed and to be "good enough" from a young age, it was quite difficult to accept my drug addiction and alcoholism. Although I had great compassion for other alcholics/addicts, I could only feel failure, never forgiveness. Surrendering to the truth of my behavior and my chemical dependency was the first step to becoming "right size". Accepting that I would be better for accepting help and love from others was the second.

Regardless of what we believe, we all have a destiny. This is a given. If you are alive, you have a destiny. It just happens between the day you are born and the day you die. There is nothing about one's destiny that needs the assumption of god, and I think it is a shame that people believe God will create and/or reveal one's destiny.

It is much more important that we accept the fact that we create our desitny. Quit waiting for some imaginary friend to lead the way. Strike out on your own and make things happen!   

If you are feeling confused about creating your destiny, I highly recommend The Atheist's Way: Living Well Without Gods by Eric Maisel. 

 

Thursday
Jun282012

"Spiritual" — can I warm up to using the word?

I am a fan of Sam Harris. He's an elegant person in thought, word, and deed. So when Sam has an opinion, I listen. 

In my own life I have taken a break from the word "spiritual", and have replaced it with "natural", since it occurs to me that it is entirely natural for us to have these momentary I never knew how often I used the word in a very sloppy, short-cut kind of way, until I tried to never say it. We all have moments when we transcend the ordinary and the mundane, when our senses are heightened or focused, and when we have an out-of-the-ordinary feeling or experience. The religious attribute these so often to god, that it is difficult for the godless to communicate about these experiences without sounding a bit religious.

Members of 12-step groups speak often about having spiritual experiences. We can't really avoid it, since we are reminded at every meeting: 

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of theresult of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Most agnostics and atheists don't have a problem with the 12th step as written, but alternatives have been suggested:

We, in turn, are ready to help others who may come to us in the same way. (B.F. Skinner/Humanist)

Practice the principles of these Steps in all our affairs and carry the 12-Step message to others. Principles: Commitment, Self-discipline, Service to others. (Alternative)

Tried to help others struggling with addiction and practice these principles in other areas of my life. (Atheist)

Here is an article from Sam Harris about his own use of the word "spiritual". It is food for thought... for those of us who tend to think too much! : )

In writing my next book, I will have to confront the animosity that many people feel for the term “spiritual.” Whenever I use the word—as in referring to meditation as a “spiritual practice”—I inevitably hear from fellow skeptics and atheists who think that I have committed a grievous error.

The word “spirit” comes from the Latin spiritus, which in turn descends from the Greek pneuma, meaning “breath.” Around the 13th century, the term became bound up with notions of immaterial souls, supernatural beings, ghosts, etc. It acquired other connotations as well—we speak of the spirit of a thing as its most essential principle, or of certain volatile substances and liquors as spirits. Nevertheless, many atheists now consider “spiritual” thoroughly poisoned by its association with medieval superstition.

I strive for precision in my use of language, but I do not share these semantic concerns. And I would point out that my late friend Christopher Hitchens—no enemy of the lexicographer—didn’t share them either. Hitch believed that “spiritual” was a term we could not do without, and he repeatedly plucked it from the mire of supernaturalism in which it has languished for nearly a thousand years.

It is true that Hitch didn’t think about spirituality in precisely the way I do. He spoke instead of the spiritual pleasures afforded by certain works of poetry, music, and art. The symmetry and beauty of the Parthenon embodied this happy extreme for him—without any requirement that we admit the existence of the goddess Athena, much less devote ourselves to her worship. Hitch also used the terms “numinous” and “transcendent” to mark occasions of great beauty or significance—and for him the Hubble Deep Field was an example of both. I’m sure he was aware that pedantic excursions into the OED would produce etymological embarrassments regarding these words as well.

We must reclaim good words and put them to good use—and this is what I intend to do with “spiritual.” I have no quarrel with Hitch’s general use of it to mean something like “beauty or significance that provokes awe,” but I believe that we can also use it in a narrower and, indeed, more transcendent sense.

Of course, “spiritual” and its cognates have some unfortunate associations unrelated to their etymology—and I will do my best to cut those ties as well. But there seems to be no other term (apart from the even more problematic “mystical” or the more restrictive “contemplative”) with which to discuss the deliberate efforts some people make to overcome their feeling of separateness—through meditation, psychedelics, or other means of inducing non-ordinary states of consciousness. And I find neologisms pretentious and annoying. Hence, I appear to have no choice: “Spiritual” it is.

Tuesday
Jun262012

When the shit hits the fan

Life is full of moments when the shit hits the fan. It's guaranteed, no matter what. Knowing how to respond isn't always obvious. Whatever you do, don't make things worse.

Some ideas: 

  1. Do no harm. Bad situations are not improved by making them worse. You've been around the block. Although you might not always be able to contain youself, if you have nothing helpful to say or do, shut up and sit down.
  2. Call a friend or a sponsor. This allows you the opportunity to vent in safety, and to perhaps run into some words of wisdom.
  3. Take the next indicated step. Even if the next step involves only three feet in front of you, or the next five minutes, you don't have to do anything but the next indicated step. This often keeps me from engaging in behaviors that might complicate the next few days. 
  4. Let go of anything that is not your business and not your job. I need to tell myself that again. Let go of anything that is not your business and not your job. I love a little drama. I really love the feeling of righteousness. But like drinking, it feels good for awhile, but then, it only makes things worse.
  5. Take care of your side of the street. Stop concentrating on everyone else's shortcomings, and what they should or should not do. Your time and energy are better spent on something you really do have control over: YOUR behavior. 
  6. Be grateful. No matter how bad your situation is, there is an abundance of people, places and things that can be appreciated. In this bubble of time you are breathing, you have a future, you have freedom to make choices, there are good books to read, a freind or two to call for love and support, AND "the sun will come out, tomorrow" (that song will be in my head for hours). Gratitude is a good habit. And, it works.
  7. When the shit hits the fan the universe hands you an "AFGO" (another fucking growth opportunity). This may be the only positive thing that comes out of a situation, so don't waste the opportunity. DON'T MISS THE ADVENTURE.